Dear Cameron Newton,
I’m writing you because I have a bit of a dilemma – I write for a fantasy college football site and ….well, you’ve got me in a bit of a bind. You’re a veritable fantasy beast, but can you spread the wealth a little bit? Please? Is that too much to ask? I hope it’s not; I’m sure everyone else who’s not fortunate enough to own you on their roster would be super-thrilled about this.
I’m not sure you knew this, but did you know you get credit for passing TDs too? I know! It’s so amazing! You don’t even have to forfeit all credit; you could pass for scores instead and really share the wealth with your Auburn Tiger teammates. Darvin seems like a nice guy, and you seem to like working with him. Ontario and Michael seem like stand-up dudes too; maybe they can get a score every once in a while? (Mario’s mean, though; so I wouldn’t ask you to do that.)
Don’t we live in a utilitarian society these days, where sometimes people need to sacrifice a bit to maintain the common good? I’m not asking you to give up all your scores (although – and I hate to judge – getting all 4 TDs this week on the ground came off as a bit selfish, even if you didn’t mean it), but even giving 1 or 2 to the less fortunate would go a long way.
Anyway, Cam – can I call you Cam? – I don’t need to know what you think about this right now. Just take a few days to reflect on it, and if you could let me know by, say, next Saturday, that’d be great.
Now, on to the rest of the SEC Watchdog review for Week 6Elite Players:
Cameron Newton, QB (13-21, 210 yds, 1 INT; 29 car, 198 yds, 4 TD) – Auburn
Come on, Cam. Share the wealth. Do it for the guys who aren’t blessed enough to be 6’6”, 250, and can fall forward for 6 yards a pop. Do it for the children,. Please.
Randall Cobb, WR (1-1, 6 yds, 1 TD; 11 car, 47 yds, 2 TD; 7 rec, 68 yds, 1 TD) – Kentucky
Cobb’s just showing off at this point. For the newcomers, Cobb was originally a QB for Kentucky back before they decided he’d be more dangerous operating as a prototypical slash back. Unlike so many others designated as a slash back, Cobb is actually used enough to be effective, which can result in completely absurd lines like this. Nearly 20 touches per game for the most explosive player on Kentucky’s offense? Yes, please.
Vick Ballard, RB (14 car, 134 yds, 3 TD) – Miss. State
Hey, Ballard is starting to get the yardage to go with those absurd TD totals. To put it in perspective, he’s still 3 TDs ahead of Newton, who we’ve spent the better part of the year fawning over. With rushing totals like that, he’s definitely worth paying attention to, although we still need to issue the “wait until he faces a real defense” warning. Houston isn’t exactly Alabama.
Marcus Lattimore, RB (23 car, 93 yds, 2 TD; 2 rec, 16 yds, 1 TD) – South Carolina
Lattimore played a game-deciding role in the Gamecocks’ win over Alabama, which broke the Tide’s 26-game regular season winning streak. To put it in perspective: he dropped 3 TDs and 110 all-purpose yards against one of the best defenses in America who were nigh-unbreakable. And he’s a true freshman. Yeah, I feel pretty safe saying he’s an always-start.
Warren Norman, RB (14 car, 75 yds, 2 TD; 2 rec, 31 yds) – Vanderbilt
Once again, Norman does what he’s good at – rack up a pretty decent week against an overmatched team. He’s close to the only weapon Vanderbilt has most weeks, but like the rest of the ‘Dores offense, he looks like a pop-gun most of those weeks. Still, these are the kind of lines he’ll turn in against overmatched teams (and this is a little short on the typical yardage totals, too).
Terrence Toliver, WR (6 rec, 111 yds, 2 TD) – LSU
I wouldn’t have expected any LSU receiver to make it on this list at any point this season, and yet here’s Toliver. If it was going to happen to anyone, it would’ve been him – he’s been the most consistent receiving threat (especially since Russell Sheperd is still busy being criminally underutilized). Of course, I wouldn’t expect this again, but if you had a hunch, well done.
Jordan Jefferson, QB (7-12, 100 yds, 1 INT; 11 car, 42 yds, 2 TD) – LSU
Look, the line’s pretty mediocre, even on its own merits. It’s the sudden presence of a “running” QB for the Tigers that occasions comment – I don’t expect much from Jefferson going forward, but this is the second week in a row they’ve deployed him like this. If they ever get around to remembering they have another guy on their roster who was a dual-threat QB at one point in high school, then watch out. Of course, Sheperd would have to learn how to read defenses first, but if this is the path they’re going down, may as well use a guy who’s suited for the job.
Alshon Jeffery, WR (7 rec, 127 yds, 2 TD) – South Carolina
Jeffery’s going to have some great hands pumping gas at the next level. He had a couple of catches that simply weren’t fair yesterday (including a twisting, one-handed grab in the face of pass interference that he then ripped off for a good 25 yards after the catch). The Crimson Tide had no answer for Jeffery all game long, which confirms his ascent to the Sidney Rice Throne of The Only South Carolina WR Worth Knowing. Apparently it doesn’t matter if there’s not a second option; he’s that good.
Ryan Mallett, QB (27-38, 310 yds, 3 TD, 1 INT) – Arkansas
Pretty pedestrian week from Mallett, honestly – but I liked putting his line on here, since it serves as a nice reminder that QBs are typically the guys who pass the ball. God bless you Ryan – you and your completely useless wheels.
Aaron Murray, QB (17-25, 266 yds, 2 TD; 7 car, 41 yds, 2 TD) – Georgia
What’s up with the dual-threat QBs? Aaron Murray doesn’t have a ton of mobility and yet, he’s racking up the rushing TDs too. Maybe this is a sign that Tennessee can’t handle dual-threat QBs, or really anybody who receives a snap running. I don’t know how I feel about this as a Tennessee fan.
John Cole, WR (4 rec, 103 yds, 1 TD) – Vanderbilt
Where did this come from? Cole more than doubled his yardage on the season, which sounds like a breakout candidate. Then again, it was against Eastern Michigan, so if you wanted to write this off as a fluke, you’re justified in doing so.
Cobi Hamilton, WR (5 rec, 98 yds, 1 TD) – Arkansas
Julio Jones, WR (8 rec, 116 yds, 1 TD) – Alabama
AJ Green, WR (6 rec, 96 yds, 1 TD) – Georgia
There seems to be plurality of near-100 yard, 1 TD games from SEC receivers this week. No clue if that’ll last – I suspect not, but Jones and Green at least can keep it up. Cobi Hamilton? Yeah, that’s weird, and screams Petrino saw a matchup advantage with him all day and got one big play. That’s more a function of Texas A&M’s secondary.